The Flight Before Us
by 27th Protector
Summary: "You don't have to understand something to feel it." After Ep 8/Before Ep 9; Trying to hide from the First Order, Leia finally tells Poe that he is strong with the force. While Rey tries to help train him, it's hard for them both of them to control their rage against the First Order, their fear of their powers, and their love for eachother. Poe/Rey romance Damarey Kylo/Rey angst
1. Chapter 1

Rey had to remind herself to breathe.  
How could someone so in tune with the force forget to breathe? She took a sharp breath, trying not to cry.  
These were her first breaths with no Jedi in the universe. Or as the last one. There was only person who claimed to be trained by the last jedi left.  
And she was hugging her, trying to make sense of it.  
Leia pulled back.

"Don't do that," she said.  
Rey blinked, scolding herself for crying. She didn't want to appear to be weak when they had only moments.  
"I'm sorry," she said, wiping her face on the back of her sleeve.  
"No. You can cry, darling," Leia said. "But don't think you're alone."  
"But I am. I mean, there is you," Rey said awkwardly, but she knew as much as anyone in the galaxy that Leia was strong in the force, but not trained and more committed to politics and leadership than Jedi training.  
Although she'd learned enough to survive the vacuum of space.  
Still, Rey hesitated to ask her for guidance, even now.  
Leia shook her head. "Not me, Rey. It wasn't meant to be me. Luke was meant to train you, but me... I was always meant to train someone else. That became clear when you showed up."  
"What?" Rey was intrigued, but she also heard footsteps. She quickly reached out to see who it was.  
"It's Poe."  
Rey said it, not thinking Leia would say, "Exactly."  
Rey looked back to Leia, confused by her words.  
"Wait? What?"  
Leia said, "Poe. While Finn is connected to the force, and you may train him, I sent you to learn from Luke," she hesitated, just as Poe came up out of the brush beside her, "and I was going to train him."  
Poe was holding a paper.  
The blue paper.  
Rey had learned to hate the sight of it.  
They were leaving another planet again. Three in the last week.  
"We have another transfer order, only about twenty hours to prepare, your highness, and..."  
He had stopped talking, his dark eyes darting now between Rey and Leia.  
"I missed something. Or you're talking about-" he hesitated to say her brother's name, still confused and grief-weary himself, but Lando's presence had only made everyone miss Luke Skywalker more. "There's an update, that's all, I can come back-"  
"No," Leia said, "I can't wait forever to tell you."  
Rey blurted out, "Him? I mean... he's a good pilot, but...you were doing to train him?"  
Poe took a step back. "General, I'm confused."  
"Firstly, Dameron, you are the General now. I know it's difficult for you to wrap your head around that, but it's the truth. If you call me anything from now on," she paused, pulling her lightsaber off of her belt and handed it to him as she said, "it'll have to be teacher. I can't stand the title Master, but I most certainly am not that, and I'm far too important to have to be uncomfortable if I don't want to be."  
He stared at the lightsaber in front of him, taking it from Leia's hands, but the confusion continued to numb any expression Rey could read from him.  
"I'm sorry, General... I mean, your highness..." Poe turned from Leia to Rey, and even behind him where BB-8 had rolled up beside him with a surprised squeal. Poe pointed to the droid.

"Yeah, what he said. Is this a joke?"  
"It might as well be, but I'm growing fairly certain it's not," Rey said, almost to herself.  
"Poe," Leia said, turning back to face him, still holding the lightsaber awkwardly, as if holding it as a courtesy for her. "You weren't ready. From the moment I met you I knew that. That's why... I sent you to find him originally."  
Poe looked at the lightsaber again, but shook his head. "No. No, you sent Rey to Luke."  
Leia shook her head. "Not at first. I sent you to find the missing piece of the map."  
Poe squinted his eyes, remembering meeting with the old man, the way he passed the information on to him, as if it was his legacy and Poe's future.  
"In fact, I told old San Tekka that if he ever found the map, I would send him the one that would need it most. At the time, I thought that was you. You were the only one remotely in tune with the force the way Luke was. The way you fly… it's like a flashback. Then, she came… and I didn't know..."  
Poe still looked like he wanted to run back to base, but he looked back at Rey.  
"She's more powerful. So you sent her."  
"No," Leia said. "I sent her because... you'll learn. You don't just use the Force, sometimes it asks to listen. The Force speaks to you. I was meant to send her. And I realized I had to teach you."  
"By having me almost lead a mutiny against Holdo?"  
Leia took a deep breath. "You probably wondered why I didn't tell you the plan. Or she didn't. It wasn't logical. It wasn't meant to be. It wasn't to teach you strategy, it was to teach you the nature of surrender. But it was also to see if you were ready." She stared back at the lightsaber in Poe's hand. "And I think you are."  
Poe looked at it. BB-8 let out a beep that sounded like shock next to him.  
"You said it, buddy," Poe said.  
"Leia," Rey said, "What about Finn?"  
"He is strong with the Force, but his path is not to be trained by me. Rey, you will train him in time, but he must also wait to be ready. But Poe-"  
Rey interrupted, shaking her head, "Is a pilot and a captain-"  
"General," Leia corrected, with the no-nonsense look she got about rank.  
"But he doesn't even want to. He doesn't even know what to do with it! And he doesn't-" Rey stopped short.  
Leia and Poe looked at her, until they could hear what she sensed moments earlier.  
Finn came barreling down the path. He shouted the moment he saw them. "There you are! Poe, they say we're launching in twenty hours, but that we need to wait at least two days because..."  
Finn trailed off, but then spoke into the awkward silence.  
"Poe, what are you doing with that?"  
Poe looked down again at the weapon again.  
"Well," he said, "If you ask Rey, I'm not going to manage to do anything with it at all."

The blue paper felt like lead in his hand. It held their next location. It held the safely of moving the rebellion again.  
They'd been hopping from planet to planet and had landed on Corellia. The green seemed to make the air thick around them as the afternoon rains had started to evaporate. He was outside, alone again in the tent that he had begged his assistant to post for him.  
He needed to be alone.  
Except she had found him.  
Poe was staying at the lighsaber. He wasn't holding it anymore.  
She reached out, not wanting to prod his mind, but he distinctively was thinking of never touching it again.  
And then a rush of guilt, like a wave hit her.  
Because of her reaction.  
"Rey?"  
Something about the way his dark eyes moved to her made her feel more vulnerable, but she remained. She would need to be vulnerable if he was going to actually believe her.  
"Rey, are you okay? Is Rose out of surgery?"  
Rey hated herself for not speaking sooner. "No, I mean... she's recovering. That was at least one of the reasons why Finn didn't want to leave so quickly, but we found out The First Order isn't going to come into the Corellian system for a while. It looks like they are moving more troops onto that moon outside of the Rishi Maze system."  
"That's far enough away to be safe for now. That's the one with mostly ocean they said, right?"  
"Yes," she answered. "Which should give us some time to recruit more volunteers for the Rebellion and..."  
She trailed off, thinking she didn't really want to talk about it anymore. But he had misunderstood her hesitancy.  
"Good. Maybe might actually find an apprentice for Leia, not a pilot who can't even-"  
"Stop!" she said, almost too forcefully. She wondered if she scared him, so she moved closer and took the seat across from him.  
"Poe, I shouldn't have said anything... I'm a scavenger. I'm not sure what right I have to doubt anyone's abilities based on who they are."  
"Well, you can doubt mine as much as you want. I never... felt... anything, Rey. I don't have the Force."  
"Of course you do," she said.  
He closed his eyes, shaking his head as if she had just said something illogical.  
"Prove it," he scoffed.  
"I can't. And I didn't believe Leia...until I remembered something."  
'What?"  
"You shouldn't be alive. But you are."  
"What do you mean?" he asked.  
"How did you survive Kylo's torture?"  
Poe closed his eyes, wincing at the thought of the pain. "I only lasted two minutes against him."  
"Most people only last ten seconds," Rey said, taking a breath, "And surviving Jakku? You landed safely, with only half your chute open, and made it-"  
"I'm strong, that's all. I know it was days without water, I heard Leia's other theories, but that doesn't mean I have the force!"  
"And when you fly?"  
Poe stared at the lightsaber again, with a little more conviction.  
Rey spoke again. "I know what it feels like when I pilot a ship, Poe."  
He sighed, feeling foolish for telling someone after all these years.  
"The ships not... flying. The ship is just encasing me, as I race, as I move, as I brake, as I shoot. I'm flying, not the ship."

"I know. It's how I feel when I fly." She paused because he was holding his breath now, but she had to add the most important part. "And you can see what's going to happen, almost before it happens."  
He shook his head. "It's not that… I'm just a good at guessing-"  
She interrupted. "But it might be the Force."  
"But what if it isn't, Rey? You didn't believe Leia either!" he said, but then the voice that had just sounded like it was about to argue dropped to a whisper. "Are you trying to convince me, or are you trying to convince yourself?"  
Rey swallowed, biting her lip before she spoke. But he asked again. "You don't even know if she's right. What if she's not right?"  
Rey shrugged. "She said she knew, in space when she was dead, what door to go to. She sensed your presence. Jedis can do that."  
Poe remained frozen, thinking of that moment when she moved towards the door, remembering as he ran down the hallway. But then his doubts rushed in again. "Well, I've already stared at a rock and tried to get it to levitate, and it hasn't worked. If I can't do the easiest thing, how do we know for sure? I can't lift a pebble. I'm pretty sure that's a requirement."  
She laughed but stopped quickly. She needed to know as much as he did. And she was more determined for an answer than worrying about what he might think.  
Rey reached out her hand.  
"Hold my hand," she said. "For a moment."  
"Why? How do I know you aren't going to pick up the stone to try to prove me wrong?"  
She sighed and looked at him sternly. He dropped his head, wondering if he was about to regret what he was going to do. Without lifting his head or moving his eyes off the lightsaber, he reached out his hand. It was shaking, right up until the moment he touched hers.

And then it was still.  
He expected to feel nothing.  
Nothing different. Nothing impossible. Nothing out of the ordinary.  
He stopped breathing.  
Because it felt as if he had spent his whole life just pretending to breathe compared to how he was feeling right now.

"Poe, breathe. It's okay."

He felt as if he'd been crashed under a wave, under the pressure of something surrounding every part of him and yet it lifted him up.  
All the colors seemed brighter, every detail was clearer, every sound was louder...  
He could hear Rey speak, but he also heard a male voice, as if echoed from halfway across the galaxy.  
The man's voice whispered as she spoke the same words.  
"These... these are your first steps."


	2. Chapter 2

"What the heck is a Kamino?"

Finn had a way of asking questions like that, and it still made Rey roll her eyes and Poe laugh.

"It's not a thing, it's a planet. A little off the map, and no one has seen a Kaminoan in years," Poe said, studying the report. Instead he put it back in the folder. "Why did you bring this to me, anyway?"

"Leia said she didn't want it. It's for you now."

He shifted uneasily and reached for his bag. Rey stared at him, hoping to convict him enough to have a reaction.

Poe stared at her, as if to say not now. But as he put the papers in the bag, his hand brushed up against the lightsaber hidden inside.

"Leia said she didn't want it. It's for you now," Rey said, with a look of conviction Poe couldn't ignore.

Finn looked confused, "Yeah that's what I just said. Why are you repeating it?"

Rey's eyes stayed locked on Poe's. Ever since yesterday, he'd been reaching out with the Force in tiny ways, trying to recreate what he felt. But now he was scared, pulling back, letting his doubt cloud his mind again.

"Don't be afraid," she said. "You need to pull it out."

Finn interrupted and said, "I actually have another copy of the papers if you need more or..." he paused. "I'm missing the point, aren't I?"

"Yes," they both said, in slightly different tones. BB-8 beeped twice, and then moaned softly, making Finn look at him and shrug his shoulders.

"Oh, good. At least I'm not alone not knowing what's going on, I have the droid," Finn said, going to put his arm around BB-8 who rolled back slightly. "Really? That's how it's going to be?"

BB-8 blurbed, only to have Finn snap back, "Yeah, I know he's afraid to put the lightsaber on, and everything. Frankly, I think he should keep it hidden, too, and it's stupid if he doesn't."

"What?" Rey said, pulling her gaze away from Poe.

"Thank you," Poe said. "See? I'm not the only one who thinks I can't do this!"

"I think you can do it," Finn said quickly. "I never thought you couldn't."

Poe stopped, his mouth still open ready to agree with Finn. He sighed, "Really, Finn?"

"Yes, you've got this," Finn said, very seriously and with the over-zealous energy that he sometimes had. He turned to Rey, "But Rey, think of what would happen if everyone knew. Look at how they've been treated you lately. If someone draws your face on one more thing, I might get sick of seeing you everywhere. Now... think about how you grew in the Force. Was it surrounded by people you were trying to prove things to?"

Rey looked back at Poe, her eyes softer this time.

"No, I could have never learned the force if I was trying to impress people or prove something. Or..." she stood up, "I probably would have learned the wrong lessons."

She turned around quickly, hoping neither of them would notice.

They couldn't tell either of them how close she had come to almost learning the wrong lessons. That she had talked to Kylo. And while everyone assumed they knew what happened- that Luke had trained her and she had killed Snoke- no one knew the truth but Leia. Everyone believed the lie.

Except for Poe, who from the look he had in his eye was started to suspect something else.

Either way, Finn was right. She was about to ask him for their ration bar for the day and try to tell him that.

But she didn't have the chance.

An alarm swept through the bunker.

"C'mon, during breakfast?"

"Those ration bars aren't breakfast, Finn, unless you like eating cardboard," Poe said, whipping his bar with only one bite across the table.

All three of them bolted for the hallway. They joined a dozen officers racing down to the control room, although one of the officers turned around and yelled, "RANK!"

The remaining people moved out of the way, pulling themselves against the walls so Poe, Rey, and Finn could run through first.

They arrived in the situation room. Poe hesitated for a moment. So did Rey.

Finn said, "You two...need to get up to the Circle." He pointed to the console in the room, meant for those in command in the situation room.

They could see the holo already- three star destroyers projected that filled the room with fear.

Rey felt the lightsaber fall to her side as she had stopped running suddenly. It held the weight of every expectation in the room for her to be the Jedi.

And she only now realized it might be heavier than Poe could handle. Everyone was already saluting him, staring at him with the expectation for him to be a general and destroy those three ships.

And she felt as foolish as the was the first day Luke had started training her.

She didn't understand herself at all then.

But Poe knew himself more.

And he couldn't train with the world watching him. No one could.

Hours later, Rey went to relieve Poe from his post on watch. The grass around her tickled against her, making her remember when Luke had hit her hand with it.

She needed that reminder now.

She needed to tell Poe that he needed to train, but tell no one about it, because there were moments in training where failure was normal, and you needed space so it didn't turn into shame.

"Hey," she announced herself. But he didn't turn around. She smiled.

"Did you sense me coming?"

"I did, actually," he turned around, almost shocked. "You didn't happen to get-"

She held up an energy drink. "I could hear your thoughts a bit. Were you trying to tell me?"

"Maybe I was just thinking it really loud." He pulled the drink out of her hand, the warmth fueling him almost as much as the drink they brewed from the beans on the islands of Selonia. It was one advantage to being in the Corellian system.

"You made the right call, by the way, to stay. Not just because you get more of that drink," Rey said.

"Did I?" Poe asked.

It had been hours, and he still wasn't sure. The star destroyers didn't find anything and didn't engage. They reported back to the First Order that the system was empty of Rebels.

Something in Poe had wanted to scramble every fighter that they had. They could have destroyed the fighters.

But then the First Order would know where they were.

He had told everyone in the room to hold. He had a hunch and a strategy that made Leia proud- maybe because it was the lessons she was trying to teach him, about leadership and the Force.

The room of officers and pilots had looked at him perplexed by his insistence that everyone wait and not attack. He didn't want to tell them he had a 'feeling' the Force gave him that the destroyers wouldn't find them.

But Rey had known what he was thinking. She sensed it, too. And she said, "Just wait. I have a feeling."

She sighed, now remembering how they had all trusted her implicitly hours ago- while they had doubted Poe. If they knew he was training to be a Jedi, would they have expected more from him? How could he handle it?

Rey turned back to Poe, having the grass move under her feet again.

Room to fail. Room to be embarrassed. Room to see yourself, and not be shamed.

"They expect us to save them."

Poe sighed. "I know."

She took a breath, and then continued. "Poe, you can't handle the pressure of that... and try to train."

"So Finn was right?" Poe said.

"Yes," Rey said, but then bit her lip. "But please don't tell him. It'll go to his head and he'll never stop talking."

Poe suppressed a giggle, but then his face grew more serious. "Thank you. And thanks for standing up for my hunch in the control room. If we have a week more to recruit from the entire Corellian System, we'll be in much better shape. Five planets this close together was rare. It's going to make it easier and faster to gather and repair scrap ships as well."

"I think I can help with that."

He winked, more playful and confident than he'd felt in days. "I figured. And it will give us a chance to train new volunteers so we don't lose so many recruits. If we train them better, they'll be more prepared."

Rey began, hoping that now she understood him a little better, he would let her challenge him again.

"And you'll have time, like tonight. To train," she said. He began to look suspicious, but she said, "In private."

He sighed. "I know you mean well, Rey, but I'm still not sure I can do this... idealistic, meditation, focused... jedi training thing."

"I didn't," she said, feeling strange now for being so vulnerable. "Trust me. They all think I trained with Luke, and hovered rocks..."

"Which I still can't do. And I've been trying all day. I feel like that must be a record for failure in Jedi training."

She shook her head. "They all- and you- probably think it was how you imagined it from stories. And it wasn't."

"What do you mean?" Poe asked. But he could sense the fear and shock in her as she spoke the truth for the first time.

"I didn't get Luke to train me for a week, even though I begged. He said it was time for the Jedi to die. He said there was light and dark...and I might have wandered into the dark a few times."

She bit her lip. She had definitely said too much now. She closed her eyes, sure she would lose respect for him.

How was she going to explain Kylo? Their connection? That he killed Snoke? That Luke's disenchantment with the Jedi would break the Rebel's hearts?

"It's okay."

She snapped her eyes open to see his hand outstretched, near her elbow, as if he might need to catch her.

"I can't imagine whatever happened was easy. You don't have to explain it now."

She nodded, not realizing tears had formed. But she blinked them away as he continued.

"It's okay, Rey, to not do the things you aren't sure you can do yet. I can't wear the lightsaber today."

She looked up at him, breaking away from her trance of the images that pulled her in. Instead she saw his eyes, looking back at her with compassion. She grabbed the hand he had next to her. He continued, "But promise me... Promise me that you'll tell me one day... what happened."

"I will," Rey said. "If you promise to wear that lightsaber one day."

Poe stared at the ground in response. Rey moved closer.

"Poe, promise me that you'll train. That you know you have the force. That the only reason you're not wearing that lightsaber is that you don't want them to know and it's not your own insecurity. Because the one thing I can tell you about training... you have to try, no matter how insecure you feel. It doesn't go away."

She moved even closer. "Promise me, Poe, that you'll wear it one day. And I promise I'll tell you the truth."

His breath shuddered, but he spoke with a truth that felt like a wave in the Force that almost knocked her down.

"I promise."

She smiled, her eyes lost in his dark gaze again. But then her mouth dropped open in shock.

"What?" he asked.

She looked down.

"Poe?"

He was confused, but beneath him.

Several tiny rocks below them hovered around them.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hit the button again," Rey snapped, her fingers still on the coils of the repair rod.

"Ummm... are you sure about that?"

She rolled her eyes. "You trusted me enough to start to hurdle rocks at you last night, that you could move them out of the way before hitting you, but you don't trust me when it comes to repairing this ship?"

Poe came out from behind the other closet, maneuvering around wires. "You know what, this is my third fire extinguisher and the power has failed four times and servo-controlled plate almost cracked last time. So... no."

Rey sighed and continued to prod the lead and wires to the damper, trying to re-route power again, when he said, "Can't you just bypass that?"

"I've tried," she sighed. "Not working. Hit the button again."

He sighed but shot her a playful look. "Sure, I don't need my limbs. You can electrocute them as much as you want."

She stared ahead of her, but began to smile. "Just do it."

Poe shook his head, held tight to the fire extinguisher and winced as his hand pushed down on the lever one more time. He pressed the button next to it and pulled the lever up.

The whirring didn't sound 'crunchy' this time, but clear and solid.

"Oh, and I had the fire extinguisher ready this time."

"Turn it off," Rey said. "That should do it. Besides, we're probably out of time."

There was a slight change in both of their demeanor. They stared at each other wondering if they caught it.

"Leia?" Rey called.

"Yes, it's me," she said. "I just wanted to see how it was going."

They started talking over each other.

"The ship is just...fine the alluvial dampers were just a little-"

"The cockpit was just a bit dirty and the wires needed... rewiring..."

"So not good?"

They spoke over each other again.

"No, not at all."

"Not really."

She smiled. "Where's Finn?"

Just then, Finn screamed in the gun deck. "That is not supposed to do that!"

Poe stuttered. "The one gun deck has some issues... look, on the surface, I know this doesn't make sense. But Leia, a Mon Calimari cruiser-"

Leia held up her hand to interrupt. "You don't have to convince me. These are powerful ships in combat, and the one on Endor made every pilot... and Princess. romanticize them. Finding all three cruisers in the Selonian junk heap was an amazing find. And the deck on this one was modified and it's large. And might give us a place alone when we need to train without prying eyes."

"Are we training?" Poe asked.

She was about to answer when someone ran up behind her, saluting Poe but then turning to Leia.

"Ma'am, we have a visitor," an officer reported. "And I wouldn't interrupt if I didn't think...if it wasn't..."  
He paused, looking back at the base for a moment.

Leia looked in the middle distance.

She sighed. "Oh... he's finally here," she said, nodding to Rey. "I hope he lets you keep the Falcon."  
"Who?" Rey asked.  
Leia sighed. "The owner."  
Rey shook her head. "But... Han was the owner."  
Leia rolled her eyes, as if she had done it many times before, but was smiling when she said, "Oh my dear, that was always under debate."

Finn came up the ladder, staring at his Comm.

"Guys, a friend of mine just said that they saw Lando Calrissian in the control room asking where his ship is."

Rey turned around to Leia in shock.

"Always under debate."

"Who is he?"

The voice shocked Rey out of her sleep.

"Who?" she answered Kylo, quickly trying to bury her thoughts.

Kylo's voice sounded muffled at first, and then clear.

"The person you were training with earlier tonight."

Rey buried all the images in her mind threatening to rise to the surface. She hated that she wasn't in her bunk. She might have moved quickly, hoping maybe it would disrupt the connection.

The connection.

"How can you talk to me? I thought Snoke was dead."

"I found a way... I found the way he was connecting us. It's a work in progress..."

She swallowed. "I can't see you."

She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Relief, but also a longing she never could control despite hating him.

But right now, it was relief.

"Is he there?" Kylo's voice echoed a few times. "Is that why you're glad I can't see him?"

Rey's breath shuddered. She was still on the floor of the Mon Calimari Cruiser.

"My mother was there. I had to wait for her to leave. She'd recognize my presence too quickly," he said, then whispered. "She won't let the past die."

"Maybe the past doesn't have to die, Ben," Rey said. "Maybe you don't need to kill it. Maybe you just need to learn from it."

"No," Ben said, but it sounded more like a hundred "no's" echoed in space and in his heart. "What you call hope is foolish because you think you can learn from the past and that you have what you need for this. To lead. Remember... you're no one. But not to me."

She closed her eyes, his words burning her and yet his last phrase mattering more than she knew it should

"Not to me."

"Stop!" she said, aware she couldn't feel anything, not if she wanted to keep him safe.

"He's there, training with you, isn't he?"

Rey stared, beginning to shake. She didn't dare look over at Poe. Earlier she had stared at him sleeping when she couldn't: seen him rest after an exhausting attempt to try to use the lightsaber against the machine. She'd tried to speak hope to him, as he fell asleep, that he would do better tomorrow.

But she couldn't look at him now. Kylo couldn't know.

"Who is it?" Kylo yelled. While he couldn't see, she could tell he was trying to.

Her body shook more, staring at the ceiling, trying to resist, push back, close the connection.

She thought of the dampers, meant to control the servo and the hyperspace so it didn't overload.

She didn't need to relieve the pressure- she needed to send it back.

So she did. Kylo yelled.

She flooded it with memories of their last fight, flooding it with everything she was thinking.

She was overloading her emotions, only to let him lose control and focus.

The last thing she heard was Kylo whisper, "But not to me."

And he let go.

The connection faded.

She closed her eyes, wanting to make sure Kylo had left.

But another presence was already there.

She snapped her eyes open. Poe was there, inches away, his dark eyes dripping with concern and worry.

His breath was ragged.

"That was... what was that?" Poe shouted. "Who was that?"

She breathed out his name in a whisper. Her throat tightened. "Kylo Ren."

Poe shook his head. "Do you need anything? Are you okay?"

"It's okay," Rey whispered.

"That was Kylo Ren," Poe argued. "That is the opposite of okay."

"I need water."

He bounded across the room, grabbed his canteen, and ran back to her, sliding on his knees to place the nozzle near her mouth.

She gulped as if she'd had a horrible day on Jakku, thrown and tossed in the desert heat. But she hadn't.

In fact, when Poe reached out and touched her cheek, he felt warm, as if she had chills.

"What do I do?"

Rey shivered, but shook her head. "Nothing. I don't understand, this didn't happen last time."

"Last time?" Poe asked. "Did he attack you before like this?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "No."

She closed her eyes, hoping to avoid the questions and concentrating on creating warmth in her body, but she could feel suspicion, fear, and confusion building in him.

But when she opened his eyes, she noticed something else.

He had hidden or pushed away all of those feelings, now putting a warm compress on her head.

"I shouldn't call anyone, should I?" Poe asked.

"No," Rey said. "They wouldn't understand."

Poe nodded, looking away as he placed the compress on her head. "So... nothing was different this time?"

He was trying to be casual, instead of asking every question he wanted to ask. But now that he had asked the question, she realized what was different.

"The connection. I severed it. I was fighting him, instead of talking to him," Rey said, afraid it would only lead to more questions or confusion.

Or worse.

Behind the dark brooding of his eyes, she finally saw the thing she didn't want to see.

Betrayal.

"Why did you fight back this time?"

At least she could answer that honestly, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to scare him.

"I didn't want him to see something. I want..." she choked up again, surprised he was still there to offer her water. She thought she'd said too much, so she decided to tell half the truth. "I wanted him to be distracted."

Poe pulled back the water canteen, but Rey noticed his hands shook.

He knew.

"Poe?"

"Kylo wanted to know who Leia and you are training?"

"Yes," Rey said, seeing the guilt starting to well up. "But you need to know the whole story, or you won't know why."

"Why what?"

Rey shook her head. "You are afraid of Kylo Ren, but you haven't even started to be as afraid as you should be. And you have no idea..."

She trailed off, thinking of the moment she thought Kylo would turn, and he didn't. She talked to him. She wouldn't stop.

"Rey," Poe said, starting to sense her attention stray again. "I think you're forgetting, or maybe you don't know," he said, moving the compress back onto her forehead, "I'm going to help you, no matter what happened. I'm here."

She shut her eyes, tears releasing. "I'm afraid you won't be, if I tell you the truth."

His breath shuddered, he reached for her hand. She could feel him bury his suspicion and cast out his fear.

"Rey, there's nothing you could that will scare me away. Not after you did that to protect me. I'm here."

He pushed on the compress and pressed into her hand.

"Well, in that case," she started, still feeling the insecurity on her chest, but at least the weight from the half-lies would be gone, "This isn't the first time Kylo has spoke to me."

"I figured that by now. But it is the first time you fought back."

"Yes," she whispered. "And I need to tell you the truth, because you've probably imagined the worst. And you're still here."

Again, he swallowed his fear, looking at her, more intense than ever.

"I'm still here."


	4. Chapter 4

Poe sat against the wall, still watching Rey sleep.

She hadn't said everything she had wanted to say. But it was enough information to make his head spin as if his cockpit didn't have artificial gravity engaged.

Luke Skywalker hadn't wanted to train another Jedi because he had created Kylo Ren.

Rey hadn't wanted to trust that Kylo Ren was evil because she had felt the conflict within him.

Kylo Ren had killed Snoke and hadn't wanted to kill Rey because...

It had stopped there. She said she didn't know why.

But Poe did.

"Hey," Poe heard a whisper in his head. "Mind if I come in."

Poe heard Leia, only like an echo in an empty room. He reached out and realized she was outside. He stood up to click the switch to open the hatch for her to enter the ship, but then she said, "Freeze."

He did, confused, until she challenged, "You don't need to move to open the door."

He closed his eyes. A few rocks had moved and a few things had floated. He supposed this was next, but he felt annoyed.

He reached out for the switch. Nothing.

"It's okay," Leia whispered. "Try reaching out with your feelings. You want to talk to me. You have questions. You feel lost because what you thought was truth was only half a lie. Ignore that fear, reach out, and flick the switch."

He breathed out through gritted teeth, and then closed his eyes.

The lever pulled down. He opened his eyes as he heard the hatch open and the ramp lower to the cold concrete underneath.

He sank back down to the floor, not sure what to expect.

But he surprised himself by saying something wiser than he felt.

"No matter what you say, you shouldn't apologize for anything you didn't do."

By the time she had entered the room and he turned his head to meet her gaze, she had tears in her eyes.

He sighed. "You shouldn't apologize for anything Ben Solo ever did."

She blinked. "That was unexpected grace."

Poe shrugged. "It's the truth. I once had a co-pilot apologize for not covering one of my best friends. It was a bit of survivor's guilt, honestly. But hearing someone say they should have fixed it or they should have died instead... it never makes it right."

She nodded. "I didn't think Rey was right. All of him hated Luke, hates me, hated his father... but apparently, all of him doesn't hate..."

"Her." Poe finished when Leia hesitated. "She doesn't want to process that though."

"No. At least he had enough conflict in him to kill Snoke."

"That is convenient. And apparently... just... epic!" Poe leaned his head against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. Even the flashes Rey had showed him in his mind had shocked him- not just her level of skill with a lightsaber, but with the intensity and grittiness of the battle with the guards.

"You're wondering if you can trust her."

"No," Poe said. "I know I can. She..." he paused, wondering how to explain it. "Ben tried to contact her again."

"I thought I felt him nearby," Leia said. "I just tried to protect our location by blurring our surroundings with images of everywhere else in the galaxy. He's not as strong as Snoke, so he couldn't have held the connection long."

"He didn't. She fought back and severed the connection. That's why she was so tired."

Leia had moved across from Poe, now putting her hand on Rey's forehead. "What did Ben want from her?"

Poe didn't say anything, but Leia turned to him, her hand still cradling Rey's head.

Poe shook his head. "I don't know if I can handle this, General."

She gave him a stern look and moved to sit next to him. "Firstly, it's not General anymore."

He looked ahead of him and clenched his jaw, ignoring her jab.

"Second, yes you can. Because of the dreadnaught."

"You hated how I dealt with the dreadnaught!" he said in confusion.

"No," she smiled. "I was afraid you had learned the wrong lesson when you took out the dreadnaught. But before the bombers even arrived, you... one x-wing fighter, took out all of it's firing power, all of it's large guns. I was holding my breath, because without knowing it, you did the impossible, again and again. One more impossible shot, and then another, and another. Luke used to fly like that."

He sighed, not knowing how to respond. She smiled and said, "Poe, one more impossible thing at a time. That's how you'll find yourself on this journey."

He nodded, but had to ask her, "Is that how you're getting through this?"

She tilted her head to one side. "Kylo killed the last Sith master. I didn't see that coming." She paused, "You never answered my question though. It's because Ben will now be a master, searching for an apprentice."

"Rey?"

"Or you."

Poe closed his eyes. "He doesn't know about me yet."

"Thanks to her strength. We have to get you strong enough before he finds out, or finds us here."

Poe nodded. "That probably won't be long."

A moment later, Rey jolted awake.

Poe reached out his arms on her shoulders. "Rey, it's okay, we're here! We're here!"

But the look in her face was one of terror. "That's not the problem. Someone else is."

They ran into the command room. Everyone was already on high alert.

"What do we got?" Poe yelled.

"Three star destroyers," someone yelled back.

"The same ones from the other day?"

"No, sir, and we..." the officer hesitated, but then continued. "They aren't quite... first order ships."

"What do you mean?" Poe asked.

"Smugglers," Rey said. "They're smugglers who have rigged star destroyer parts together to make a ship. It scares outlying systems because they believe they're still in the Empire, so they collect 'taxes' that aren't theirs to collect. They don't know the difference between a First Order ship, an Empirical Destroyer, or one that's been put together with salvaged parts."

Poe looked from Rey to the holo. Finn asked, "Well then we shouldn't attack. Or should we? Why are they here?"

Poe pointed to Finn. "Good question. They either want to take our ships, hoping to intimidate us or threaten the locals if we don't cave into their demands-"

Finn interrupted. "That's a horrible thought."

"They might know we are in the market for ships and just want to sell to us-"

Finn said, "That would be awesome!"

"Or they are here because they'd rather destroy us for a bounty."

Finn nodded, "Another horrible thought."

Poe shook her head. "I think it's likely to be a combination. They wouldn't want to collect a bounty on all of us, but they must have learned... some of us are here."

Rey looked at Poe who was trying to ignore her reaction.

Either way, if we get the slightest hint that they are going to attack innocent lives to draw us out, take our ships, take us as hostages, or take our Jedi, we will take them down first."

"They're counting on that," said officer Marcus. "They know a large fire-fight might alert the First Order of our presence here."

Poe looked back at Leia.

She was already smiling.

Poe turned back to Rey and to the other pilots in the room, mad that Tallie and Zizi were gone.

"Snap?"

Wexley answered, "Yes, sir."

It wasn't a question. He must know what he was signing up for.

"Suit up. Rey, what are you flying?"

"The falcon."

Lando called, "No, you're not!" and then before she could argue, he said, "No, Poe and you and Snap can't take any ship that's recognizable. Don't go out in flagships. Go out in stuff that's been scavenged. Haven't you ever hidden before?"

Leia scoffed. "Not like you." Lando shot her a look, but Poe didn't have times for them to take cheap shots at eachother.

"Lando, what would be the most indiscreet ships?"

"Old A wings," Lando said. "They were the most common but discarded. Around here, most onlookers who aren't on the Resistance's side would just think it was a smugglers skirmish."

Poe said, "You heard the man. Snap, Rey, and I will be in A - Wings. I want everyone on alert to evacuate just in case they want to threaten the locals. If they do, you get out and you don't look back."

Kaydel said, "Three fighters against three destroyers? Are you crazy? That's impossible!"

Poe didn't look at Rey this time. He reached out to her, feeling her move in the force, wondering if after talking to Kylo she was ready for this.

All he felt was a push back, as if he'd better not lose his nerve.

So did Leia.

He saw Finn nod across from him, as if egging him on.

Poe smiled. "We have the Force. Impossible is what we do."

He was suiting up, looking across to her.

She saw him, looked back at Snap Wexley who was still getting his flak vest on.

She rushed over to Poe.

Poe said, "You're good right?"

"Yes," she said, looking nervous. "Poe, if they ask for me... if I'm the one the bounty is for..."

Poe realized she would ask, but he already had his answer.

"I'll ignore them," Poe said, as if it was the only logical answer.

Rey looked at him, as if in warning. He swallowed, "I'm serious. You're not going on board that ship until it's ours. And I might be your student on that ship," he said, nodding to the Mon Calamari, "But I'm your General."

"And my General would make a tactical error and-"

Poe interrupted, "And save the person who risked everything to save all of us, and me... only an hour ago."

She turned away, looking at the ground. She reached out, trying to let her feelings explain in words she couldn't. Poe closed his eyes, trying to read the emotions she was pulsing in waves through the force.

She was scared of Kylo's words.

She was scared of Poe thinking less of her.

She didn't know how to explain how uncomfortable it felt to be so unwanted her whole life, and now for him to be fighting for her...

She didn't want anyone fighting for her.

He sighed, and moved closer to her, holding her hand.

"We fight for each other," Poe said. "Agreed?"

She nodded. "We fight for each other."


	5. Chapter 5

"We don't want to fight you," Rey said, reaching out with the Force to try to pacify the enemy pilots as the three of them hovered nearby, staring at the ships through their fighter windows.

"Speak for yourself," Poe said in her earpiece.

She looked to the side, where all three ships were hovering and gave Poe a severe look.

"Hey," Poe said. "I'm just saying... I want to fight them."

"Why?" Rey said.

"Something..." Poe said. "Feels off,"

Snap chimed in, "Poe, she's the one with the Force, buddy. Don't get delusions of grandeur."

Rey pretended to laugh, but looked wary, her hands shifting on the controls before she continued.

"We can and will take you on," she said, then holding her breath to wait for a response.

It finally came.

"We were told by a birdie that the Jedi is here," said a voice that sounded so dishonest and snakelike, Poe wondered if it was a human. If it was aliens, they were definitely smugglers. The First Order was prejudice to most aliens.

His comm beeped. He hit the red button. "What is it?"

"Rey, Poe, Snap... They are smugglers. They pretend to be the Empire in systems outside of the outer rim, and one of them is actually capable of using the Force. They intimidate people with it, saying he's Darth Vader's old guard. Just be careful."

Rey breathed out slowly, trying to concentrate.

Poe said, "Do you feel anything?"

"No," she answered. But she had to ask him silently. "Do you, Poe?"

"Yes, but it's not just one presence. Somethings wrong. We should attack them."

She shook her head, trying to clear it before speaking to them again.

"You are not the Empire. You are not the First Order. The First Order will destroy you when they find you, especially if you've been impersonating them. Why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to reclaim and return the jedi to Kylo Ren, the heir of Darth Vader," another voice answered, older and sounding eerily calm.

"Firstly," Poe shot back. "What makes you think we even have the Jedi here?"

There was a pause, and then a moment later, they heard an echo of their conversation only moment's ago over their comm speaker.

"She's the one with the Force, buddy. Don't get delusions of grandeur."

Rey breathed out evenly, shooting a look at Snap.

"Don't you dare do the jedi stare with me. I'm... I'm sorry, really."

He had started it as a joke, but could now sense their danger. Poe quickly said, "Don't worry about it. She's going to land. Now."

"No, I'm not," she answered. "They already know I'm here. I'm better fighting in the sky."

She pushed with the Force. He didn't answer at first, but he got her message.

The same promise they both gave.

They were fighting for each other.

"What's the second reason?" Poe said, trying to stall them.

He was trying to talk to Rey through the force and ask her where the salvaged pieces of the ship were. They would be wielded on the ships existing panels, not as strong, and would be great weak points to hit the ship with.

The answer he got was better than he expected. An image came up of all the weak points that Rey had found by circling the destroyers.

But then the man with the deep, long voice answered again.

And Poe stopped breathing- it felt like his lungs were shocked, as if he had jumped in ice cold water.

An eery voice came on the comm.

"They told you...it was a trick or a lie... that the salvaged ships have Lord Vader's old guard on board, to scare the locals."

Poe tried to swallow.

He reached over to the controls and quickly hit three buttons.

He jammed the controls so Central couldn't hear.

"Rey, you need to land," Poe said, trying to flick the switches to charge his lasers faster and ignore BB-8's beeping.

Rey shot back, he could hear her protest in his head. Her voice echoed through his head. "I feel the pressure, too... and the cold. You've got to fight back!"

Snap called out, "Why did you just jam our transmission to central?"

Rey lied. "It's just a precaution," but she knew Vader's guard already had figured it out.

The voice continued, "I suppose I lie... when I say I'm him. But then again... someone else lied. They said there was only one Jedi among you."

Poe cursed under his breath, feeling the pressure on him.

"Poe, don't fight until you're calm. We'll take him on together, just listen!"

"To what?" Poe screamed, his brain overwhelmed with the cold and the pressure and the fear and the beeps from BB-8 and Snaps reaction, "Wait, you have the force to? How did I miss that?"

Poe closed his eyes in concentration, ready to send a volley of thoughts and threats and feelings back at his attacker.

But he didn't. Rey was there, in the forest on Takodana.

It was like a vision- recalling the battle.

Rey had been fighting Kylo, but he had been in the X-Wing.

Yet now in this recollection, this flashback, she was dragging him to the forest floor.

"Focus," she begged him.

"I can't focus when it's like this!"

"Yes, you can. You always have. What about when you were facing a dreadnaught alone?"

"That was different. Hux wasn't inside my head."

"Then clear your head. Focus and calm first."

Poe stared at her, until all he could see was her. Her eyes stayed on him, willing him to follow deeper into the stare. He put his one hand up, to meet hers.

"Fight for each other?" she said.

Her hand shook, but met his. "You were in an X-Wing- flying so fast you missed the calm necessary to win the battle. Poe, you can't do that. Don't miss the thing you aren't meant to miss because you're flying by."

He nodded, his jaw shaking.

She clasped his hand in the vision.

"Fight for each other," he promised.

He opened his eyes to see the destroyers. His mind now pushed back against...

"Vanee, you have no power here. Leave now."

"And tell them where we are? No thank you," Snap said.

Poe turned to Rey, who was already speaking into her comm, "Poe, we can either scare them off or disable them."

Poe was about to say scare, but then he felt a push. "Rey, I have a feeling... we should disable and capture."

"I was hoping you'd say that. You have the map?" Snap said.

"Yep- hit it!" Poe said.

Vanee was stuck in his head, hitting the first few targets. He took out the first large gunnery ports, only to barely miss the last one.

"Servo is amped up high, but I was going so fast I missed-"

It blasted in front of him. Rey had already gotten it.

They moved to the next ship. He tried to stay calm, his hand guiding the ship, but it felt...

Like it had always felt. Like Rey had described it.

They were flying, not the ships.

Rey had just blocked the one cannon. Poe dropped altitude and spun twice and shot off a cannon, breaking hard and spinning around.

"Thanks," Rey thought, but she didn't say it.

They both saw Snap- who was doing well, but didn't see the last of the canons.

"Okay, so we need to hit the power source of the -"

For a moment, Vanee tried to push into Poe's head, telling him he was going to fail. He somehow found all the moments in battle that Poe had tried to forget.

Poe pushed back... trying to focus on the present. He was flying, along with...

all the other people flying.

"No!" he shouted.

Rey answered, "I need to get the fuel cells if we're going to disable it!"

"No," Poe said. He couldn't describe what he felt. "Just don't hit that part of the ship! Disable it electrically!"

"How? Do you have a good guess for how to do that to a salvaged ship?" Snap shouted, spinning to avoid the last shots from the cannon.

Poe said, "No, but she does."

The battle was over.

They had won.

Vanee had fled in a smaller ship. They hadn't seen the last of him.

But his crew knew they would never see him again.

They surrendered.

They had reconnected with ground control and Leia had scolded them, but only over the comm.

She had already told both of them they had done a good job- in the voice and the space where no one could hear the three of them.

The destroyers were landing, Poe had already thrown off his helmet and yelled for BB-8.

"Poe," Rey shouted. "What are you doing? The crew are coming out of the ship on the left side."

Poe shook his head. "I almost missed it. And then I didn't."

He banged against the side of the destroyer.

He banged again, a small rhythm.

Rey started. "What are you-"

Then she felt it. Snap heard it.

Someone had knocked on the side of the ship.

"Why would any crew be in that part of the ship?" Snap excplaimed.

"They're not crew," Poe said.

Rey looked at Poe, wondering how he had felt their lives and she hadn't, but what was low like an echo now screamed in panic.

"There's over a hundred children in there. They are slaves, thinking they were taken for training for the Empire..."

She trailed off, thinking of all of them being ripped from their parents.

"Rey, why don't you-" Poe trailed off, but pointed to her lightsaber.

She shook her head, away from fears and flashbacks, but then looked at Poe.

"Why don't you?"

"No, I'm not ready," Poe shook his head.

"But you saved them," Rey said. "Everyone is going to think I did. I almost missed them. You saved them. They should know who their hero is."

Poe answered, "I don't need anyone to know whose hero I am, or I'm not a good hero."

She was about to argue again when she saw Leia enter the bunker.

She nodded to Rey, but also undeniably smiled at Poe.

Hours later, Rey stood stroking the hair of one of the scared children. It had taken that long to convince the teenagers that they were free, although most of them had now sworn their allegiance to the Rebellion.

The few children under sixteen years were far too young to help, and were moved to local homes. They would have been sold...

Like she was...

Poe was singing another to sleep, a beautiful song about stars and wishes they caught...

She felt turmoil. Jealousy. Loss.

"Peace," she whispered, trying to find her center again.

But she felt Poe push back.

"Are you okay?"

She focused on Poe, whose concerned eyes were now not on the boy, but on her.

She nodded, but Poe didn't believe her. He stroked the boys curls in the crib one more time and then came to sit beside her.

"You able to track Vanee?"

"No," Rey answered.

"And that's not what's bothering you." Poe had started to say it like a question, but answered it definitively. "They were sold, taken, and left alone."

Rey stared ahead, trying to ignore Poe, almost mad at him for prodding into her feelings.

"No one ever sang to me. No one ever rescued me. No one ever stood up for me. No one ever fought for-"

She stopped. She couldn't say that.

Not today. Not to him.

She turned to face him, his head leaned against the metal wall, as if sunk into the place she didn't want to feel or be in with her.

"You fought for me," she said, shaking her head. "You stood up for me... and rescued me..." she trailed off.

The child began to stir in her arms. Poe reached out to hold the child's head.

"Shhhh... someone should have fought for you."

And Poe began to sing again.

"All the wishes wished for you,

whispered in the dark or in daytime,

you thought were never heard,

a star caught them just in time."

He sang until the girl was asleep.

And then kept singing.

So Rey knew he was singing to her.

She had to know.

Tears escaped through her wide-open eyes.

As he sang the last verse over and over.

"Just in time."


	6. Chapter 6

"Try again," Leia said.

In fact, that was all she seemed to say the last hour.

Poe stared in the middle distance, wondering why he couldn't learn to be a jedi while flying, something he was easy at.

The sweat was nearly in his eyes now. His jaw shook with concentration.

He put the helmet back on, wincing as if anticipating the pain.

The lightsaber in his hand hummed, mocking any of his efforts against the little droid that hovered above him now.

Nevertheless, he raised the blade to meet the first blast.

Then the second.

The third hit his knee.

He pushed back against the doubt in his mind.

He blocked the next one.

And the next one.

And then three quick blasts took out his knee, his shoulder - he moved- and then his other knee.

"Enough!" he was about to pull off the helmet, but it blasted again.

He was angry.

The anger made the blast louder, longer, and yet slow enough for him to block.

He blocked it, moved forward, and sliced the droid in two.

"There!" he pulled off the helmet. "Stupid thing can't hit me anymore, is that the point of this?"

But when he took his helmet off, he saw Rey looking like she had looked earlier that day when looking at the orphans, telling them they'd be okay but barely believing it.

And the look on Leia's face was worse than anger: it was the deepest disappointment.

"You used anger, Poe, to amplify the force, with your feelings-"

"It's a stupid droid, and-"

"Yes!" Leia shot back, not used to anyone interrupting her. "It is! And if you lose your temper, if you lose yourself to the dark at all... at all..."

she trailed off, her last words breathless. She took a breath and continued. "This is supposed to teach you awareness. Patience. Foresight."

He stared at her, feeling a worse failure and embarrassment as when the blasts had hit him.

"Poe, do you think it's going to be easier to keep your temper when it's Kylo? It's not. And you're still trying to blow something up... and trust me, I appreciate that more than I let on, but this is the time to train your mind to see the force. Not to win every little thing. You will lose."

He stared at the droid, cut in half.

He felt it, the anger of his failure, the emotions she had mentioned.

He stared at the droid, parts of it still sparking.

It had made a fool of him, even now mocking him. What if it was Kylo?

He thought of Kylo breifly.

The droid stopped sparking. All power left it.

The lights in the room dimmed.

It shocked him. He lost focus, Kylo's face in his mind fading.

"What was that?" he said. '

But Leia shook her head. "You, ignoring everything I just told you."

He looked scared now, looking back at Rey. "Anger leads to hate..."

He knew the rest.

He dropped his lightsaber and ran out of the room. He slid down the ladder to the left of the gunnery station and dissapeared.

Rey went to follow him.

"Stop," Leia called. "Give him time."  
Rey sighed. She wanted to follow him. He had to feel as lost as she was, in her worst moments.  
"I just... I want to help him."  
"It's a confusing time. He needs some space. And I know you want to help him," Leia said. "I know."  
Rey turned around. Had Leia already guessed something stirring in her, that she dare not think about.  
No.  
She hadn't seen it between her and Kylo.

"The place with the mirrors," Leia said. "And yes, I've guessed Kylo has already asked you to join, and you've refused."

She shook her head. "Fear," Rey said. "I've learned fear more than anger is my worst enemy. And Kylo knows."

"But anger... anger is more dangerous. It means that unless Poe can control it, he will find himself able to do more with the force with the dark side than the light."

"And?" Rey asked.

"Remember, we all have our paths. We all have the moments when the dark side calls. That does not make us weak. It makes us normal. But," Leia sighed. "Poe will always want to defeat his enemy more than he might be able, but if he uses the dark side to do it, we will all lose."

Poe was sitting on the ramp, leading to the floor of the forest. It was chilly tonight.

He wanted to feel the cold. He wanted it to smother his anger.

"Stupid droid."

BB-8 moaned in the distance.

"Not you, buddy," Poe said, placing his hand against the droid as it rolled closer. "Never you."

He placed his head down on the droid, closing his eyes.

He stayed still a moment, breathing jaggedly, leaning on the droid.

"What am I doing bud?"

"You're a Jedi," Rey said. "And you're failing, like me."

He turned quickly to see her. "I'm not like you."

He was jealous, for a moment, but it faded.

"I'm not like you at all."

He turned back to BB-8 who beeped, then rolled away a few inches to go back to the ramp with the mini blowtorch and he continued to attach and encase the new wiring.

"Yes, you are," Rey said. "You're strong with the Force. I didn't even really see how strong until just now."

"The dark side doesn't count."

"It's not just the dark," Rey said. "Look, it's just faster to get to that power with raw energy, like anger and fear and hate...but that means that ability is there."

"I don't feel the force that strongly!"

"Yes, you do!" Rey shot back.

"But I don't understand it. At all."

She moved to face him, but knelt so her eyes were close to his, and he couldn't escape her gaze.

"You don't have to understand something to feel it."

He closed his eyes, the only way to escape the intensity of her eyes, but he couldn't escape.

Because her presence was flooding his mind.

"Why do you want to defeat Kylo?" she whispered.

"To kill him, for all the lives he's taken-"

No.

She felt him push back in his own mind, but she pushed back as well.

It burns.

Tallie.

San Tekka.

Only hundreds of others.

"I feel fear," Rey said, fighting through the storm of losing the lives that Poe had known. "But I have never known loss like yours. You're angry at Kylo, but that's not why you want to defeat him."

Poe's breath shuddered, almost losing his demeanor again. "Are you sure?"

"No."

She pushed back again, as if to say, "Look."

In his mind, in the middle, he was with the child singing.

He was with a friend laughing at a pub.

He was with her.

He cut her off quickly.

She wondered why.

But she opened her eyes, detaching from the inner parts of his mind.

Meanwhile, he hoped she hadn't seen anything... he hadn't even known he was thinking...

"The future," he whispered. "I want to keep everybody safe. Peace."

"Peace."

"That's why you repeat it, to yourself."

"Yes," she said.

"But..." he wanted to argue that they deserved revenge. They deserved vindication. They deserved to be proven worthy of their sacrifice.

"They deserved love," Rey answered, with tears in her eyes. His memories and their deaths would now haunt her, too, but she would bear it if he could do what he needed to do.

He shook his head, reading her thoughts now. "Rey, I can't just..."

"Don't hate him because he stole them. Honor them by fighting for what they fought for. Peace."

He shook his head. "And what do I do? Cry? Just... cry? I have to do something more!"

"No," Rey said. "Because if you don't, you who loved them... then who will cry for them?" She paused, now seeing his shoulders shake, but then said, "Poe, love them again. Love them forever. And for star's sake, yes... cry. You never did. Not for any of them. But do it now."

He was going to argue that she didn't know the pain. That she didn't understand the power surging in him. Only a few weeks ago, he said he didn't have the force, and now it wanted to course through him.

He wouldn't cry. He would get even.

The lights flickered around him.

Power.

The lights dimmed, flickering. BB-8 squealed as one fuse blew.

He breathed out, but didn't dare breathe back in.

"That's the dark," Rey said. "Fight it."

The lights dimmed. A nearby sapling shriveled. Poe shook his head.

It was too powerful.

"Fight it... and just mourn them."

"I can't..." he said, shaking, but then he thought of Tallie.

He would never bury her, the only pilot who ever bested him for speed in drills. She had flirted with the pilot on the B-wing squadron.

He had loved her. He would have mourned her.

He had died on a transport before Holdo had destroyed the flagship.

He would have mourned her.

"It's okay," Rey said.

And then sorrow crashed. The force whipped around him, like waves of memories and their presence and their life. He thought he would drown.

Except Rey was there.

She whispered things in his ear, as he mourned each of them. He thought she would get tired, but they moved through all of them, all scenes where they grabbed their helmets and jumped in an Xwing, ready to save the world only to never see it again.

He finally breathed out, after what must have been hours later.

He felt an energy and power he never had before. It was like the surge from earlier, the force moving all around him.

He snapped his eyes open.

All the lights were on.

"That's it," Rey said, her eyes gazing into his with wonder. "That... that's the light."

He heaved breaths, as if breathing for the first time again. He looked at the sapling, about to feel regret, only to see it with a new leaf on it.

"It's different," Rey said. "The force bends around you, differently than with me."

"I know," Poe said, "I mean... I can feel it."

His lower lip trembled. He didn't want to ask. She had just navigated him through his journey back to this moment.

"Peace."

She repeated it, but that only made him want to know more.

He now eyed her suspiciously.

Her lower lip shook.

"You knew how to bring me back, Rey," he said, his dark eyes now making her feel vulnerable. "How?"

She lowered her head.

"You must know why."

He nodded, wondering if she would refuse. But he'd felt so close to her, he had to ask.

"Show me."

Her eyes came back to up to meet his.

He wasn't strong enough to travel the paths of her mind on his own.

She looked at his hand, her fingers trembling before she touched it. She lifted his hand up to her head.

His warm hand touched her cheek, cold with worry that he would see the worst and run away from her.

Just like everyone else had.

"It's okay, just reach out, stretch... and see."

He took a deep breath and held it, as if he was about to jump into water.

Fear.

Loss.

The last words Kylo said.

_"You're nothing."_

_"You have no place in this story."_

_Skywalker throwing the lightsaber over his shoulder._

_Solo's first look at her when she bypassed the main reactor_

_"You have no place in this story."_

_Snoke dying. _

_Them fighting. _

_Fear._

_Fear of being alone._

_Solo dying. _

_Skywalker dying._

_A vision...someone else dying..._

_Leia dying..._

_But it lead back to Kylo, speaking again._

_"You're nothing... but not to me."_

_Skywalker saying no._

_Everyone saying no. _

_Eating dirt when she was hungry._

_"Let the past die."_

_Fear._

_"You don't have a place in this story."_

She pulled back, but he didn't care. It was like coming up for air.

"Poe?" she said, half wanting to know that he was okay, and expecting the worst judgement.

But he simply reached out for her and embraced her, pulling her into him, their heads against each other now able to hear all the thoughts they had in real time.

He still said it outloud.

"Peace."

She sighed, her eyes squeezing out tears. "I told you. Peace."

He pulled her tighter. "And don't believe it."

"What?"

"The lies," Poe whispered. "The lies that make us angry. That they died for nothing. They didn't. They were brave, and sorrow is enough. No anger."

She reached out with the force, feeling him seal a promise in his mind.

"Rey, that echo... it's a lie," he now pulled her away, wanted to see her eyes. "You promise me, you'll kill it. It's not the past that has to die," Poe said. "It's the lie. And you have a place in this story."

She nodded. "It's a loud lie."

He reached out with his other hand, now cradling her head.

"Then make the truth louder," he said. "You have a place in this story. It's here."

Her breath shuddered. The force surged, only she could control it. The fear diminished, but it didn't die. The lies whispered, but they weren't silent.

Not until he said the next sentence.

"It's here...with me."

Then every lie fell quiet, and all she could hear was her heartbeat, wondering why it was still racing in pace with his.

He pulled her in again, scared to feel anything loudly. But he repeated. "With me."


	7. Chapter 7

"Where is he?"

Rey was asleep.

She had just enough time to put up the barriers in her mind before he asked again.

"Who is he?" Kylo pushed back.

"We're not doing this again," Rey asked. "If you have something else you want to talk about-"

"You," Kylo asked. "Venee is foolish, and wants to be paid far too much. He's smart enough to hide from me, though. But if he and his bands of smugglers found you, it's not long before I do."

"You know about him?"

"Yes, once in a while we even buy his stock."

Her anger flared. "If that's what you call those children-"

But she calmed, she was about to let everything go...

and then a hand reached out and grabbed her.

She knew who it was.

The one who held one of those children.

"Who is he?" Kylo yelled. "Don't let him pull us apart."

"No," Rey said, pulling her arm free. "Nothing will pull us together now! Don't you see? I have every reason to fear and hate the past, but I don't. You can't find that kind of peace, so you lay waste to the galaxy."

"Snoke got to me before I ever had a past."

"I know," Rey fought. "So why can't you find a new future now?"

Kylo paused. "Why are you still trying to save me?"

She didn't want to tell him the truth.

"It's okay. I feel it, too. I've always felt it."

She shuddered.

He loved her, but only a part of him. And he faded, behind his mask again.

"Don't let yourself die...with the past," she begged him.

"Why? Answer my question. Why do you keep trying to save me?"

"You already know the answer," Rey said.

"I need you to say it," Kylo said. "Say it."

She shook her head, now seeing visions: her reaching for his hand, her on a beach with him, her in the rain looking into his dark eyes.

"Ben. That's the part I can't see all the time. That's the part of you that saved me because you love me," she said, loudly in the vision.

"No. I lied to Snoke, hid what I felt. That means that all of me loves you. But that's the part you can't stand. You don't want that to be in your story. You want the ideal, the pure, but you forget... that story isn't real. I am."

He paused, and in each vision cradled her head. "And my love is real."

She pulled back in each vision. "I can't. You can't think...you've killed your father, you've slaughtered hundreds-"

"I can make it right. I'm starting to think... about balance. What happens when there is light and dark? Maybe we can try-"

"No," she said, pulling back in her mind.

She surged the power back again.

He closed his eyes, in the vision, but reached out. "Maybe I need to save you. But I'll never stop trying either. So we're destined to be together... no matter what you think."

She shook her head.

"I can't love you," she said.

"But you do. And now... he knows. Now... no one will trust you but me."

Rey shook, the pressure leaving her.

She had hoped that since the encounter had been short that her reaction would be better.

But she was drenched with sweat. She could already feel the cold compress on her forehead, and a few on her arms.

She tried to breathe but coughed instead.

"Here, I got you," Poe said, pulling her up. He didn't say anything but got her water.

He was silent, not saying any reassuring words, but his hand rested on her back just enough to lift her.

He knew.

Rey tried to speak but coughed again.

"Don't speak," Poe said. "You need to rest."

She shook her head.

"I need to explain," she whispered, coughing only once.

Poe dropped his head. "No, you don't," he said, looking at the floor and not her.

She wanted him to look up, but with each moment he didn't, she felt herself drop, as if she was falling into the floor of the Mon Calimari cruiser.

He sighed, and then looked up.

She was already looking in the middle distance, ashamed and afraid.

She could hear the echos in his mind. He was replaying what Kylo had said.

"It's complicated," she said. "I don't-"

"He just said that," Poe said, not able to process what had just happened but certainly not ready to speak the words out loud. "And you didn't push back. That tells me something."

Her breath shuddered, thinking of him losing all respect for her and leaving to tell Leia or someone else that their Jedi was under suspicion and her being imprisoned for treason.

Poe looked back up at her. "That you feel foolish for thinking you can change him, or foolish because you can't reject that you have a connection with him."

"Poe, I don't..." she trailed off.

"Just say it, Rey!" he snapped back. "It's what I'm waiting for. It's what you are waiting for... to be able to say it. That you don't love him!"

She closed her eyes. She could sense the betrayal in his voice and his heart, but there was also hurt, anger, and... jealousy? She ignored it all to be able to answer his question honestly.

"The person I'm fighting for... may not even exist. It's the smallest part of him, like an echo. But the connection is so strong that I can't deny it. I wouldn't deny it. I want to deny it because it makes me feel..." she paused and looked at Poe, "like I'm every bit as dirty as you think I am, because he loves me."

Poe sighed. "No, I don't think that. I wish you'd told me the truth, Rey. And you have nothing to be ashamed of if..." he trailed off, looking at her for the honesty again. But then he continued, "Even if you love him, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

Rey sighed. She wished she knew what he was thinking, but he was hiding it.

"He even said you wouldn't trust me. That no one would."

Poe froze, his hand reaching out for the compress now hovering inches above it. "Why did he say that?"

She touched the top of her head, pressing on it, wishing she could make sense of it. "I don't know. He wants me to feel alone."

Poe looked up, meeting her eyes for the first time. "Because then you'll go to him. You'll turn. If you feel alone, he is the only one who can care about you."

She sighed. "So you think it's a trap?"

"No," he said. "I think he wants to trap you, in a lie, because you'll feel shame and you will lie to me. Tell me the truth."

She breathed out slowly. "There's a connection. He loves me, and I don't know why. I feel something...it's not love, but it's strong. And..."

She closed her eyes and swallowed. "I don't want him to love me. I want to be free from this. But the truth is, I'm not. The truth is that the first time I said I felt the Force, Skywalker was hitting my hand with a blade of grass. He refused to train me. The first time I tried to fly, I crashed a ship... gosh, it was the one next to the Falcon, I almost destroyed it."

"You should have," Poe said, jokingly, "Then Lando could shut up about it."

She looked at him, irritated he was joking. "None of this story is good enough. It's not how it's supposed to be!"

He took a deep breath. "I know. It's not. That's okay. Can't you see that... it doesn't have to be scripted or heroic or perfect. And maybe no one expected the bad guy... to fall for you," he almost stopped, and then had to carefully look for his words. "But I'll be here, and we'll see how the story ends."

She looked suspicious almost, but she believed him. She could still sense something she couldn't identify as he asked, "Will you still try to save him?"

She shook her head in response. "Not now. You're right, he's trying to use it against me, to manipulate me. He's not ready to be saved."

Poe nodded. "Maybe you should get some sleep. Thanks for... well, watching my back again."

She smiled. "I'll always watch your back."

He helped her lean back down, eventually watching her as she fell asleep.

Leia touched his mind quickly.

"Is it Kylo?" her voice echoed in her mind.

"Yes," Poe said.

"I see it now..." Leia trailed off, but her next words surprised him. "She couldn't tell what you were feeling when you mentioned Kylo."

"What?" Poe shot back, a little annoyed because he had tried very hard to keep his emotions in check. "Betrayal?"

"No, jealousy," Leia pushed back in his mind.

He closed his eyes.

"I can't love her," he answered back, very conscious and focused on the connection so Rey wouldn't hear.

"You already do," Leia said. "Don't fight it."

"I can't love her. It'll ruin everything," he whispered, knowing Rey was too deep in sleep to hear him.

Leia sounded closer, as if she was whispering something in his ear.

"No matter what happens, love. Don't let bitterness, jealousy, fear, hate, or distrust stop you from risking love. You risk so much else, even your life."

He looked at Rey, sleeping peacefully.

"I can't tell her," Poe said. "That's a risk I can't take."

Leia whispered again. "Then risk everything else, and hope. Love should always start with hope."

He blinked, trying to convince himself he wasn't crazy.

But at that very moment, Leia laughed.

"Poe Dameron, you are crazy. And that's okay."

He smiled. Leia left. He was alone with her.

He finally laid down next to her, staring at her sleeping, and whispered, "Don't hate me, the day you find out I risked loving you."


	8. Chapter 8

"So... your eyes were closed..."

Poe trailed off. Rey rolled her eyes, dreading having him bring it up.

Poe began again, "And Luke took a blade of grass..."

"Yes, and hit my hand with it, and I said I felt the force and... Stop it!"

She had trailed off because he was laughing again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I can't stop..." he bit his lip, but then started again.

She moved the lightsaber practice drone slightly so he didn't have time to block it.

"Hey!" he shouted, then smiled. "Watch where you're aiming that thing."

She shook her head. "Well, that wasn't the most embarrassing of moments-"

"You mean you trying to shoot Kylo with a blaster a million light years away?"

"Something like that," she said, but she was distracted by the control board on the Mon Calimari. The tools lay scattered around her. She remained focused on it, but as they couldn't make much progress before the field test, Poe had decided to let her try to fix it and he would take a turn with the droid again.

Which he wasn't exactly thrilled about.

"Try again," Rey said.

Poe sighed and put on the helmet.

"It's easy for you to say," he said.

"No, it's not. Remember... I thought the Force was a blade of grass and I'm not sure where else I must have messed up..."

She trailed off, focusing on the board. She needed a tool but wasn't sure what.

She was lost in a confusion he couldn't understand, and she didn't know where to start.

She didn't even know what tool she needed.

Until it was hovering three inches above her hand.

She turned back to Poe. "It'll connect the wires , up over the-"

"I got it," she said, smiling at him. Just when she was about to lose herself in the hole, with the vines, she would find herself pulled back by him.

Pulled back to the light.

Kylo would have pushed her down there, so she could be his.

She glanced behind her, looking at Poe eye up the droid and put his helmet on again, nervous.

"You don't have to be scared, just because you got close to the dark," she said.

He blocked two lasers and then the next two hit him.

He pulled off the helmet and turned his head, letting it fall on the ground.

"Then why do you always think of the cave and the mirrors... and him?"

He didn't say his name.

He was already worried and fearful while doing these exercises. It made his jealousy louder in his mind, and he was desperate to hide it from her.

She saw the cave again in her head, hearing the voice say, _"You have no place in this story."_

"It's a lie, Rey," he said.

She threw her tool down and stood up.

"Stop probing my thoughts!" she yelled.

"Stop thinking so loud!" he snapped back.

"I wouldn't have to be thinking this at all-"

"I shouldn't even be here, training to be-"

Her voice echoed in their minds.

"STOP! Listen!"

Leia's voice sounded soft, but it was urgent.

"Fight the same fear," she seemed to whisper.

Poe shook his head, trying not to focus on the difference in Leia's voice, but instead on her words.

"The same fear?" he repeated.

Rey sighed. They had rushed at each other only moments ago, so they were only inches away.

She would have hesitated in the past, but even with the fear of rejection, she reached out for Poe's hand. He took it, pulling her in closer, now certain of what she was going to say.

"You're afraid," she said, "You're afraid you don't have a part in this story... that your part was in the X-Wing, not here."

Poe nodded. "And the failing isn't fun."

She smiled, but it faded quickly. "No, it's not."

She leaned in a little, hoping he would understand it would make it easier for him to see.

He leaned in a few inches more, until their heads were touching.

He saw it, like a film broadcast.

He saw the failings of Luke Skywalker. He saw her get too close. He saw Luke beg her not to go to Kylo.

He saw Kylo touch her hand and Luke refuse to train her since she had so much power. He saw Kylo's vision that he had shared with Rey: her, a sith apprentice.

She pulled back, looking ahead of her in the middle distance. "That's dangerously close to the dark side, if you ask me. And I didn't fall."

He stared at her until her eyes finally met his. "So, you'll warn me, if I fall again?"

"Yes," she said. "Only if you warn me."

He nodded. "Deal."

She smiled, nodding her head to the left. "You have some work to do."

He turned and looked to the helmet, behind him on his left. He looked to her again, walking backwards. In one fluid motion, he tore it from where it hovered, swung it onto his head as he turned, and ignited his lightsaber.

"It's time," Rey said.

He flicked the switch on the droid to master level.

"Who has time to warm-up, anyway..." she said, trailing off.

He blocked the first shots. The droid hovered, diverting low. He ducked and parried one more shot.

"You belong here," she said, stopping short, not wanting to be corny or cliche. But then the words came out anyway. "You belong here, Jedi. You are a part of the Force, so you are a part of this story, because the Force chose you, Jedi. But you have to choose what side."

He blocked the next three shots, but one hit him. He lost his cool, able to move with ease once he was angry - it was like a whole different kind of grace and agility he achieved when his anger shot up.

But he could hear her, screaming in his mind.

He paused. The droid hit him.

Every time he paused to feel "peace" and the light, he lost.

He was hit again, but he heard her screaming for him to not go back to the anger... the dark.

So he stayed still.

His knee winced and almost fell out under him as another shot hit it.

He stayed still.

He would lose.

He would lose everything for her.

He hoped she hadn't heard that, but she was too busy calling him back to the light.

"Peace."

The machine hit again. And again.

She was starting to worry, wondering why he was letting the pain in.

Only he wasn't.

Poe whispered, "I'm making the peace louder than the pain."

The droid hit again. He gritted his teeth, still remaining frozen.

He could see the peace. He could see the future for those who he would lead to freedom, not the turmoil of fear or worrying about failing.

He could see everything.

Including when the next blast would hit him.

He moved his lightsaber, finally to block. The blade moved swiftly, yet he could feel the thickness of the air as it glided across him, above him, around him, blocking shot after shot. They moved so quickly that eventually he was blocking three every second, the lightsaber moving ahead of his hand, almost as if the force and not his arm was moving it. He continued for minutes, getting closer and closer.

He slid on the ground, underneath it, and reached out with the force, pulling it towards him.

He flicked the switch and turned it off.

He laid there, breathing in air he felt he never knew there was. He had blocked over a hundred shots in one minute, yet was barely sweating. He hadn't felt like he had proved anything, but rather discovered something.

He remembered to breathe in deeper, still a little short of breath and opened his eyes to see the shield over his eyes from the helmet.

But then he felt the helmet lift off of him.

Her fingers almost trembled, as if not knowing what to expect, but her eyes pierced him as if she knew every part of his soul.

"That's..." she paused, swallowing the choke that was rising in her voice. "That was a Jedi, not a pilot."

He pushed back, showing her the memories that she had shared with him.

_Rey and the rock cut in half._

_Rey and the stones hovering, freeing everyone from the First Order who had cornered them in the cave._

_Rey fighting the guards._

He whispered, "That's a Jedi, not a scavenger."

She sighed, putting down the helmet. "What a pair we make," she whispered. She reached out to touch one of the blisters on Poe. "Here, hang on. I haven't gotten to try this yet, but I was reading in the book about it."

"That sounds a little scary. I go from Jedi to test subject in three seconds?" Poe said, his one eyebrow raised in the way that always made her smile.

But she bit her lip to stop the smile this time. He had been so connected with the Force, she had hoped it would make the pathways to healing easier.

And it did.

He winced for a moment but then breathed out. He looked down. The welt was gone.

He looked back at her. She stared in his eyes, not at the wound this time.

"You let yourself get hit. Why?" she asked, her hand now hovering over his knee, which had several blisters.

"I needed to feel the peace in the middle of the pain, not react to it, so I could rise above all of it and feel the Force away from the fear and the regret and the anger."

He felt the warmth of her drawing the Force to his pain, healing the wounds and feeling his skin made whole.

But her eyes stayed on his, even as her hand moved to his shoulder.

She hesitated, but then moved his collar away from his neck, exposing three shots against his chest. Her hand hovered over the wounds. She knit the skin together again, still staring at him, listening to every thought he was whispering.

"Healer, not destroyer. Kylo doesn't see this part of you. He sees the warrior, not the Jedi," Poe said.

The last blister was by his ear. He was going to tell her to let it go, but she reached out her hand, moving closer as she did, her face only a foot away from him.

He lay still, not daring to move. He felt the peace of the Force rushing through him, as if the Force was willing it to happen. Her hand still hovered.

Until the wound was healed.

And then she touched his cheek. She felt his healed skin underneath, whole, but still rough and course. It felt electric, yet he remained still, as if afraid to move.

There might as well been no one else alive in the universe, just them.

But it didn't last long.

Because every life on the universe was depending on them to live.

Finn's voice filled the cabin. "Hey, when you're all done, Lando and Connix ...sorry, Lt. Connix need to talk to you in the control room off of the Mon Calimari."

Rey closed her eyes, almost embarassed, but she answered, "We'll be right there."

Poe reached out, before she could pull back and touched the back of her hand. She lingered, for one minute, before he released.

"Looks like the world needs you, Jedi," he said, moving up slowly, so she had time to back up. She stayed close but stood up with him.

"We'll see. Do you know what's wrong? Can you tell?"

"No, but...there was something about Leia's voice."

"Yea, but I can't tell. Did you sense fear, or grief? What did you feel?"

"Nothing," he said, but he couldn't quite shake it.

"Then what?" she asked again.

"Something about her voice," he said, thinking.

"It sounded calm, like usual. Just whispered or..."

They both realized it at the same time.

"Like it was farther away," Poe said.

Rey was already up, running to the ramp.

Poe reached out, searching the complex.

They both thought the same thought again, echoing the pain and confusion but trying to stay calm.

_"Rey, is she gone?"_

_"Poe, she's gone."_

* * *

"Where is Leia?" Poe demanded.

Lt. Connix looked nervous. She was biting her lip, and her hair which was usually placed perfectly was whipping around as she looked side to side.

"I don't know. She left earlier. She said she was going to the Outer Rim. I'm not exactly sure where, but-"

"Kamino?" Rey asked.

"No," Finn said. "We have the coordinates for that, it's 12 parsecs away from the Rishi Maze. We still don't know why it's so darn important. She seemed to know why she was going and she took something with her. It looked like her lightsaber."

Poe squinted, trying to reach out, but Rey was already shaking her head.

"She's darting around. She's trying to find Vanee."

"Why?" Finn asked.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Poe said. "She wants to confront him and destroy him. And she wants us to stay with the Rebellion."

"She won't face him on her own though, will she?" Connix asked.

"No," Lando answered, finally breaking his silence. He'd been the only one in the room not to speak yet. "But she doesn't want to risk your training nor our position to get refueled, refitted, and gain new recruits when she doesn't even know where he is."

"Is that what she told you?" Finn asked, now suspicious.

"No," Lando shook his head. "That's how she works."

"So, what do we do now?" Finn asked.

Lando looked at Rey and Poe. "Ask them. They're in charge now. But if you ask me..." he sighed. "We don't need Jedi right now. We need a pilot, Poe. We need to get out there, look strong, and convince people to join us. We need her to be the Jedi."

Rey looked at Lando, determined but also scared for Poe, who had just made a huge stride.

She looked back at him. "Fair enough, but you're probably wrong," she said, smiling at him. "You need the pilot and the Jedi. And you'll have both."

Poe looked away to Lando, reaching out with the Force to feel the warmth of her presence once more.

He answered with more confidence than he thought he'd have.

"You'll have both."

* * *

Thank you to anyone reading! Please share! It's super discouraging to only have a few following and favorites, but I'm super thankful for anyone who is reading this story!

Thanks so much again! I feel like it's finally getting started! I have a GREAT part tomorrow where we finally see Kylo find out about Poe! PLEASE subscribe or favorite and share!


	9. Chapter 9

"What are we doing here?"

"Looking like heroes and convincing people that they want to be as awesome and brave as us," Poe answered.

Rey rolled her eyes and glared at Poe.

He shook his shoulders. "One of us, anyway."

She looked toward the door again.

Behind it, like so many other cities in the different planets of the Corellian system, were countless people waiting.

They wanted to volunteer to help see the end of the First Order, but more than that, they wanted a glimpse of her...

The Jedi.

The hero.

The girl who was rumored would bring an end to Kylo Ren.

She shivered.

"You okay?" Poe asked.

"Yeah," she said automatically.

He sighed. "You know, I can tell when you're lying..."

"I'm not," she shot back.

He turned to her. "Yes you are. You don't even know you are. Look, I know this has been a lot of pressure and a lot of people who expect you to be..."

He trailed off, but she answered. "Everything I'm not."

He sighed. "Just because you're not the hero that they're expecting doesn't mean that you aren't one. You are."

She looked towards him, briefly, feeling him trying to probe her mind. She pushed back a bit.

"What am I missing? There's something that's been bothering you all day... like a shadow."

She shook her head. "Less like a shadow and more like a ghost," she said.

Flashes hit her mind.

The dashes on the wall made with metal scratching against rusty steel.

The ship taking off of Jakku and her screaming "Come back!"

Her arm being pulled away.

The dashes... writing again.

Twelve years.

She pulled back, put barriers in her mind.

But not fast enough.

She heard Poe curse under his breath.

"Today?"

She blinked rapidly, trying to hid her emotion, angry that they had become so close that she couldn't hide anything from him anymore.

"Yes," she admitted. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does," he said, "And it doesn't."

She bit her lip, almost not wanting to get into an emotional or any other kind of debate right before she had to speak in public.

He kept speaking, not waiting for her to ask. "It matters because you should be able to feel sad. To mourn. To feel lonely. But then... it doesn't. Because you should also know that it doesn't define you."

She looked at him now, convinced he somehow could see right through her despite how hard she tried.

He hesitated, his breath catching. He couldn't say what he wanted to say, so instead he said, "You're defined by every day. Every day that you live now... every breath, everything you fight for...now. That defines you."

Her eyes stayed glued to his, and he hoped she couldn't tell what his heart was screaming when he whispered, "And because of that, you are desperately cherished and loved... and not alone."

She blinked rapidly, looking down to gain composure. He was glad he could throw some walls up quickly, turning his attention outward again.

Something wasn't right...

"What?" she said.

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "I just got a feeling... again. But it keeps fading."

Before he could reach out again, Finn was behind them with Lando.

"Ready?" Lando asked.

"Yeah," she whispered, but Poe was worried she needed a minute- if not to cry, to just get her composure back.

"Why don't you start first this time, Lando?" Poe suggested. "It would be a change, and the locals love you. We'll just hang out on stage behind you."

He shrugged. "Sounds good," he said, moving forward.

She whispered, "Thank you."

Poe gave her a skewed smile. "Neither of us wanted to sign up for this, so... asking you do it on a day..."

He trailed off, because of the security officer pushing them forward to the stage area.

The "Huzzah's" and cheers started. People in the crowd craned their necks to see the heroes of the Republic.

Poe smiled, reaching out and feeling the courage from those who dared risked coming.

But he felt it again. One glint of danger.

And then it was gone.

He kept smiling, looking at Rey, who was now playing her part well.

If she wasn't feeling anything...there couldn't have been anything wrong.

"Something's wrong."

Poe took a sharp intake of breath.

He could barely hear the voice...

"Something's wrong."

He never wanted to hear that voice again.

"Is that Kylo?" he turned to Rey, whose face was still facing ahead, but she was looking stoic instead of smiling.

She turned to Poe in shock.

"Put your barriers up, or he'll see you and-"

"Is that him?" Poe said. "Something is wrong."

Rey looked confused.

Poe heard Kylo's voice again.

"You're in danger. I don't know where you are, but I could feel it. Rey, you're in danger."

"No, I'm fine," she said, trying to push Kylo away. "And if you sent someone-"

"I don't want you dead, Rey, you have to know that by now. I didn't send anyone. I'm not even sure where you are, or who is with you..."

Kylo trailed off.

Lando started shouting, getting the crowd excited. Hopefully they wouldn't notice.

Rey now risked showing her fear in her eyes, looking at Poe and begging him.

"Put your barriers up!" she said, begging him.

"No," Poe said. "I felt something...like a sliver of danger, and then it was gone. But that doesn't make sense..."

"What do you feel?" Kylo asked, now a little louder.

"Nothing," Rey said, then looked at Poe.

Poe's eyes were set in determination. Rey whispered once more, her lip trembling. "Don't."

"Kylo?" Poe called, closing his eyes for a moment and reaching out. "Kylo Ren?"

There was silence, almost as if they could hear Kylo stop breathing and sank into cold water.

Then an echoed whisper as Kylo reacted.

"The pilot?" Kylo said. "It's the pilot?"

"Shut up," Poe said. "So I can feel it, and then it dissapears."

"The danger?" Kylo asked.

"It's like...the whole person dissapears. And I can't feel...anything."

Kylo took a sharp breath. "Lizards...Look for lizards or anyone wearing a backpack that can hold a large lizard, about three feet long. It would be fuzzy."

Rey and Poe looked out in the crowd, now beginning to smile again as they cheered because Lando was introducing Poe.

"Faster..." Kylo said.

"Yes,I see it. It's smaller than you said, but yes, a furry lizard," Poe said. "It's being held by a man in dark hair, a little shady looking...but what- is it deadly or-"

"It's a ysalamiri," Kylo yelled. "You can't feel the force move around someone with one. And the force moves differently around someone about to kill someone and steal their life."

"That's why I caught glints of it...but not-"

"He's there to kill her. That's what I heard him thinking!"

Poe's fear shot up, but he swallowed and stayed calm, taking Finn and Rey's hand on cue as Lando turned to introduce them.

"Be careful," he squeezed Rey's hand.

Lando moved out of the way.

Poe kept his peripherals on the man...who removed his jacket and pulled at his holster.

"Duck!" he said, pulling Rey out of the way. He reached out with the force and switched on the shield generator...

The shields around the stage went up.

There were four shots as he dragged Rey and Finn to the ground.

Someone screamed.

He looked at Rey.

Her eyes were closed.

"Is she okay?" Kylo yelled in Poe's ear.

She shot her eyes open.

Poe looked back out to the crowd.

Lando stood shocked, but unharmed. The shield had done it's job.

The crowd was screaming and scattering. The guards were tackling the man to the ground.

There was chaos.

"Stop!" Rey screamed.

Everyone in the room froze. She stood, with a peace and grace that someone who had just almost had been killed should never have had.

"Help me!" Rey whispered.

Poe shook. Finn was already rushing backstage to help the security crew.

"No! Kill him now! Don't be so weak that you can't defend yourself!"

"No!" Rey shouted at Kylo, but also yelled at the crowd. "No one will get hurt today! We will have peace, not chaos. You're not in danger unless you react to those who are evil. You must fight for yourself and then fight for others with focus and love and sacrifice. We are done reacting to evil. We will fight it, with justice and peace and focus! Do not run! Bravery requires you to not show revenge first, but to fight and destroy evil... to find the source and take it out. One man trying to kill me is not the source."

She turned to Poe, to back her up.

But one glance scared her.

"Kylo, don't you dare..." Rey whispered, in her mind but also outloud.

"Do it," Kylo said. "You wanted to save her... kill him. Anyone in that room can be a traitor. Unleash that fear... she could have died..."

Poe took a breath through clenched teeth.

"Peace," Rey whispered.

But it felt as if Kylo was right next to him and Rey was a hundred thousand miles away.

"Kill him. He would have killed her. You would have been nothing then... you would have been alone..."

Then the flashbacks started...

Him in school.

Alone in his boarding school room.

His mansion destroyed by the First Order.

Him learning everything about flying...

Alone...

He heard her as a whispered, even as she shouted to the crowd.

"And we don't react to evil, we fight it... because we are not alone if we have eachother!"

"Poe," she whispered in his mind. "You're not alone...none of us are...alone."

Poe could hear Kylo screaming in anger in the background, but his breaths through his clenched teeth became more even and calm.

"It doesn't matter what just happened. Danger is in everyday. It doesn't matter what just happened..." Rey screamed at the crowd, still silent listening.

Poe stood up, his breath leaving his lungs. He paused before taking the next breath, screaming to the crowd.

"And nothing defines you except for what you do next! A traitor just tried to kill the last jedi," he said, in his heart, feeling the fear of her death and the anger Kylo felt at the risk of losing her. Kylo threatened again, but Poe pushed the dark away. "And will you run in panic, or are you done? Stand, and fight, and know that today... what you do today..."

He looked back at Rey, who finished his sentence in a yell to the crowd.

"Today defines you because it means your fear won't win!"

They had caught the culprit.

He had been a zealot who had the Empire pictures of Darth Vader in his home, scattered with messages that only Luke Skywalker could be the true heir.

He was in custody and under sedation. The ysalamiri was caged and placed in storage until Finn could find out what it ate.

The speech had roused the crowd and led to a record number of recruits, most of them seeing justice and not revenge for the first time in years.

Poe went in search of Rey now, sensing her in the docking bay by the Falcon.

All the recruits had been tested for flight knowledge. Poe had begun the standard test, but he always liked to see the first field simulator tests himself and get his first impressions.

"Is that because you trust your gut? Or the force?" Rey asked, not even looking up from the ramp to the Falcon.

Poe shook his head, only a little nervous she could still sense so much.

"A little of both. Why are you hiding? And why did you give Finn the ysalamiri?" Poe asked.

"It would keep him busy," Rey said. "I didn't want anyone asking him how he hit the shield generator button so quickly."

She now looked at him, a little nervous.

"You should say that you did it," Poe said, nodding at her.

"But I didn't..." she shook her head. Poe for once couldn't tell what she was thinking at all. She might as well have had the ysalamiri around her neck.

"Why did you do that?" she asked. "I thought I was going to lose you..."

He breathed deep. Was she still too scared of him turning? But he couldn't tell her what he had thought- that he couldn't imagine a world without her.

He could tell her why.

"I couldn't lose you. I'm sorry I slipped..."

"No," she said, dropping her tool and moving closer to him. "Why did you risk everything, even Kylo knowing who you were, just to save me? Why risk going to the dark side to protect me? Why would you-"

"I told you, I can't lose you," Poe repeated, trying to keep his voice still.

"That doesn't make sense, to let Kylo know that you have the force and that you're vulnerable and-"

She trailed off. He was worried for a moment that maybe she'd discovered how he must have felt about her.

Only her eyes looked up at him, almost with pity.

"Only your actions... today... defined you."

He breathed out, letting her search his mind as she pulled out the memories.

She shook her head, gazing at a younger version of Poe racing through years of memories like a blur.

"Here I thought there was only one way to be alone...and afraid."

Poe shook his head. "I was privileged. Rich. Even after they stole everything from me. But yes, alone..."

She took a breath. "But not too afraid to be alone...that you wanted revenge. We're done with revenge."

Poe looked at her, glad he could connect with the very depth of her soul and not have to hide any of the words or the truth in them.

"We're done with revenge. And I will always fight to make sure we aren't alone."

She smiled, still hiding something, but he couldn't tell.

But she whispered, "So will I."


End file.
